Why You Shouldn’t Listen To Everyone Else’s Opinion About Your Business

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“What My Grandma Taught Me About Marketing, Without Even Realizing It”

A few months ago, my mom and I went to see my grandma. I wore a new, green sweater. My mom noticed and complimented me on it, saying how lovely I looked.

We proceeded to eat lunch together at my grandma’s house. After hanging out for a few hours, my grandma turns to me and says, “That is a hideous sweater on you. You shouldn’t be wearing it. That color is horrendous.” 

I stayed calm. “Thank you for letting me know.” 

But, she didn’t let it go. She repeated herself, “That is a horrendous color. It looks awful on you, especially near your face.”

I wasn’t a bit surprised. “Really? I think it’s a lovely color. Thank you for letting me know what you think, though, grandma.” 

My mom stood next to us, more shocked by me than by my grandma. You see, at this point, we all know which colors and styles are unacceptable to my grandma’s taste (basically anything earthy or muted). We know she will tell us her opinion on such matters. To her, wearing the wrong colors for one’s palette is dishonorable (as are distressed jeans). So, we generally avoid wearing those colors (around her), thus avoiding uncomfortable color confrontations. My grandma grew up during the depression, so I can understand where she’s coming from: only poor people wore muted colors and ripped clothes because they couldn’t afford otherwise. 

Typically, when my grandma comments on my appearance, I hide my disagreement. I say something along the lines of, “Oh, really? I didn’t know this color shouldn’t be worn near my face. Huh.” I act innocent. It’s easier that way.

The truth is, I hate most of the colors she finds the appropriate for “being next to my face”. And, she hates most of the colors that I normally wear, which are more muted earth tones of blue, green, and pink. She prefers vibrant, bold, and bright shades of fuchsia, red, turquoise and yellow. I don’t see her very often, so it’s easy enough to wear something I know she won’t mind for a few hours, every few months. Then, we avoid the inevitable “that is hideous” conversation. 

But that day, I decided to tell her that I liked my sweater’s green color. I had never actually disagreed with her before, and I was surprised how many times she repeated herself (‘that color is horrendous near your face”) after I told her I really liked it. 

Luckily, I’ve learned not to take her opinion so seriously, as I understand why she criticizes me: she loves me, and thinks I’ll be looked down on by society if I don’t present a certain way. If I took all her opinions to heart, I’d look like the casually happy, beach-going models in the Land’s End catalogue. So, it didn’t faze me to be called “hideous”. But, I don’t take her opinion seriously.

Then I wondered, “Why did it take me so long to disagree with her?” 

And, more importantly, “Should I have told her what I really think a long time ago, and avoided a lot of clothing she gave me that I’ll never wear?”. 

Of course, I’ll never know the answer. She may have given me all those baby blue polar fleeces anyway.

So, what’s this all got to do with marketing? Obviously I’m not trying to tell you which colors you need to avoid wearing by your face, or even on your website. So, what’s the point of my story?

When you start sharing more publicly through your marketing, you will get feedback from people. It’s inevitable. And, some of those people, including people who you may or may not be close with, will not like what you’re doing. And, they’ll tell you what they think. Even if you don’t ask.

Which, I can’t say I blame them. It’s natural to try to help, just like my grandma thinks she’s helping me by teaching me what colors to avoid. 

The interesting thing to note is how many people are influenced by other people’s opinions. Just because your friend has an opinion, and is more than willing to share it, does not mean you should listen to them.

Sometimes, it’s important to ignore the opinions of the people closest to you. Especially when you’re starting to put your message out there in a more prominent way, but also if you’ve been marketing yourself for years. 

You see, usually, the people closest to you aren’t your audience. They may or may not get what you’re trying to achieve with your message. They don’t necessarily know who you’re aiming to speak to, and why you might be marketing yourself in the way you are. But—they still think their opinion matters. 

Of course, there’s no need to be cruel to them. You could pretend like they’re offering you insight, and nod along, like I did with my grandma for years. Or, you could tell them that you actually have a different opinion, and you’re going to keep “wearing the sweater” anyway.

I’m not going to bullshit you and tell you that you should only do the marketing that you want to see—that only works if you are your own client. Of course, just like your clothes, your marketing wants to feel like you, but I’m sure you dress differently depending on where you’re going and who you’re meeting. Your website is doing the same thing—it needs to be tailored to the situations it’s going to be experiencing. If your clientele are higher-end, you want to make sure it’s using appropriate language, and that it’s ‘dressed’ for success, and profit. If your clientele are really into a more casual approach with personal flair, make sure your website gets that message across in the appropriate tone. 

It’s not to say that my grandma’s opinion doesn’t matter, or the opinions of people close to you, per-say. But, I don’t get dressed everyday for for my grandma. And unless your main audience is people close to you, your business doesn’t need to impress them. Your business needs to care most about the opinions of the people you’re trying to reach. If it can’t resonate with those people, then your marketing might need to try wearing a different sweater.